type as me

After my recent tweet about perfecting the technique to make the perfect cup of tea, I had several requests (well, one) to reveal the secret.

I told them all him that I’d produce an illustrated guide to demonstrate the complex process, so here it is.

I will shortly be submitting it to the UK Tea Council for recognition, and so that it may be known as the Thornton Technique from this day forth.

To make the perfect cup of tea you will need:

• A mug (the bigger, the better, though not those ridiculous pint-size ones, as these play havoc on the specifics of this technique)
• A tea bag (the brand is up to the reader - I, myself, prefer PG Tips or Twinings Everyday, but this technique works with all varieties. Except fruit teas, which are the Devil’s work. PRO TIP: For those on a budget, Tesco’s Red Label make an ample substitute for the above brands)
• Some water (boiling hot, straight from the kettle)
• A kettle
• A teaspoon
• Some milk, to taste (I prefer semi-skimmed, reasonably milky)
• Sugar, optional (I have not taken sugar in my tea since I was told in a dream by my late grandfather to stop doing so, but that, my friends, is a story for another occasion)

Step One

Empty the kettle of the stale, previously boiled water that has undoubtedly been left from the previous boil. If your kettle is like mine, get rid of the lime scale too. Fill the kettle with water, and turn it on.

Eco-nuts will tell you to only boil enough water for the mug. Doing so is better for the environment, but it also means that the water will take less time to boil, and you will therefore have your tea much more quickly.

Step Two

Whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, place the tea bag in the mug. DO NOT watch the kettle boil, as it will take longer, or even never boil at all.

If you take sugar, make sure you place it in the mug before you put the teabag in. This will ensure the maximum amount of sugar remains in the cup when the bag is removed.

If you are using a PG Tip pyramid bag, you may wish to “fluff it out” to make sure the pyramid stands proud in all its glory. This will also result in better infusion.

Step Three

Once the kettle has boiled, pour the boiling water into the mug immediately. Fill the cup to an appropriate level, leaving enough room for the desired amount of milk (we don’t want a repeat of the Great Spillage of ‘98 now, do we!)

Step Four

Now for the stirring, which is the most important part of the procedure. Before this can begin, however, the Pre-Stirring Protocol must be adhered to; using the teaspoon, gently squeeze the tea bag against the side of the mug. Do this twice.

It doesn’t matter which side of the spoon you use, although this area divides opinion. Some say the concave side “cups” the bag better, leading to more control, whereas others say the convex side produces a more efficient squeeze. Take my advice and do one of each!

Step Five

After the Pre-Stirring Protocol has been completed, the stirring can begin. There are 30 stirs that take place over a total of seven stages.

Firstly, place the teaspoon in the mug, and make three full stirs clockwise.

Step Six

Make four full stirs anti-clockwise.

Step Seven

Make five full stirs clockwise.

Step Eight

Make six full stirs anti-clockwise.

Step Nine 

Make five full stirs clockwise.

Step Ten

Make four full stirs anti-clockwise.

Step Eleven

Make three full stirs clockwise.

Thus ends the stirring process, and the tea should be a rich, dark brown colour. It is important to note that the starting direction of the first group of stirs is not important, but the number of stirs in each group, and the alternation in direction, is imperative.

Step Twelve

Add the desired amount of milk, remembering to factor in the inevitable, if short-lived, displacement that will be caused by the process of removing the tea bag.

Step Thirteen

Using the concave side of the teaspoon, gently squeeze the teabag against the side of the mug. The purpose of this is two-fold: it gives the cup of tea a final boost of flavour, and ensures that there is minimal drippage in transporting the teabag to the waste receptacle.

Tea veterans will be able to squeeze and lift the teabag out of the mug in one swift movement (the trick here is to begin the squeeze toward the bottom of the mug, and “drag” the teabag up the inside). With practice, even novices will be able to avoid any overspill the removal may cause.

Step Fourteen

Sit back, and enjoy the perfect cup of tea, preferably with a biscuit or two (make sure you read Sebastian Vanderpants’ excellent The Do’s and Don’ts of Dunking beforehand).

…between HTC default camera app on the HTC Hero, and Camera Zoom FX

HTC Default

Camera Zoom FX

HTC Default

Camera Zoom FX

HTC Default

Camera Zoom FX

For bigger versions, visit the set over at Flickr. The biggest difference is that the HTC app takes pictures in widescreen. You can change this in the HTC app, but Camera Zoom FX has only one ratio.

Whilst there are a lot of things I love about my HTC Hero, there’s a couple of areas that can be improved. The camera, for example, is complete gash (to borrow someone else’s description). Whilst looking for an update on the HTC Hero Android 2.0 debacle, I came across a forum post, entitled “HTC Hero: Tips, Tricks & Useful Apps”.

It made me realise that I don’t have to make do with the standards programs that HTC provide (I think I was still stuck in the old mobile phone mode of getting what you’re given). The HTC camera software is woeful, compared to Camera Zoom FX that’s a suggested replacement.

Even the HTC message app (which I had no problem with) is improved on with Handcent SMS. Although I’ve tried a few of the apps on there, there’s a fair few that are new, and I’m very glad I’m now aware of them :D If you own a Hero, I would suggest having a read, as you’ll probably learn something new.

Holly has a book about animals. It’s a simple book, with nice pictures, and she likes it when I make the noise of the animals as they appear. Some are easy (your standard dogs, lions, horses, sheep etc.), but others are a bit more difficult. Like a fox. What noise does a fox make? Or a zebra. Does it neigh like a horse?

I was intrigued, so I Googled it, and the search took me to the infinitely amusing Yahoo Answers. So now I know. Woof woof.

Hey, have you heard about that new game which makes you believe you’re an Arsenal player?

It’s called Arshavin’s Creed.

More details of Google’s Chrome Operating System were released yesterday, and I got quite excited. I like the concept of a browser-based OS, and it seems perfectly suited to my needs.

I’ve been Google’s biatch for some time now. As you can see from my desktop, Google products are a big part of my PC. I use Gmail, Google Docs, Google Calendar, Google Reader, Google Contacts, Google Talk, Picasa, Google Bookmarks, and Google Chrome (though I’ve got a deep internal battle between using Chrome and Opera).

In anticipation of getting an Android phone, I slowly moved into using Google for a lot more of my everyday tasks, and have been pleasantly surprised at how well it all works. If Chrome OS is as fast and streamlined as we’re led to believe, it’ll be ideal - instant access to everything I need. I have no concerns about having data stored in the mysterious ether of teh Intarwebs - to me this makes sense.

Three categories of files are important to me: Documents, Pictures, and Music. My documents are already stored in Google Docs, I kind of use Picasa web albums to organise my photos, and although my music is stored on my hard drive, if I could upload it to a central server and have instant access anyway in the world, I probably would.

Any videos that I shoot are immediately uploaded to Youtube, and I use Sumo Paint to edit pictures. I constantly check Google Labs to see if there are any new additions that can work for me. Google Listen has replaced iTunes as my source of podcasts, I hope one day Google Checkout will be as widely accepted as PayPal, and as soon as it’s released over here, I’ll be signing up to Google Voice. I may struggle to get excited about Google Wave, but I can imagine how it’ll work with Chrome OS. Before writing all this down, I hadn’t realised actually how many Google products I rely on. But hey, if Google do end up taking over the world, I, for one, would welcome our new Internet overlords.

The Chrome OS has made me think about what we can expect from Google in the near future. There are a couple of programs missing from their portfolio, that would be necessary if they are heading toward the stateless world. I currently use Windows Media Player to organise and sync my music, and if Google intend for all files to be stored away from your computer, it seems logical that they will be introducing their own media player at some point.

They have already made improvements to their music search, and Google are currently in partnership with Lala (see the icon in the above screenshot). You would hope that a program that stores, catalogues, tags media files, and integrates with Android is not too far around the corner. While Google Docs stores Office documents and PDFs, and Picasa can be used to store pictures Google doesn’t offer complete file storage. I would imagine Google Docs will be expanded at some point to enable users to upload and organise any file type. There is no Google picture editing program that I can think of, and perhaps Picasa will come to accommodate this in the future.

It’s nice to speculate about these things, even though I don’t really have much of a clue what I’m talking about. What is certain though, is that I’ll be keeping a very close eye on how the Chrome OS develops.

Taken from the Statement of Ethical Principles for the Public Prosecutor (or “statment”, if you go by the url…)

Contrary to popular belief, today is not Modern Warfare 2 day. Friday is Modern Warfare 2 day. Yes, there’s no denying that the game was released today, but Friday is where the fun begins.

I’m hoping that a copy of MW2 is currently sitting on my doormat, waiting for me when I get in. But I shall attempt to refrain from playing it (too much) before Friday. You see, I’ve booked the day off work, and my friend and I are having a little competition. We have both made a pact not to play online until then, and the plan is to see who can amass the most points during the day, ending with a takeaway in the evening, when VICTORY WILL BE MINE.

What’s worrying me slightly, is that I’m a little too excited - far more than I should be for a man of my years. I daren’t tell my colleagues the real reason why I’ve booked the day off, although they’ve probably figured it out by now. Maybe it’s something to do with the “pew pew pew” noises I keep making…

In an effort to raise some cash for Christmas drinkies, our office has installed an innuendo box (or the “in your endo” box, as I like to call it). Every time someone makes an innuendo, intentional or otherwise, they get a 10p fine.

It’s a novel alternative to a swear box, and you’d be surprised at how many innocent comments can be miscontrued by filthy minds. Yesterday, for example, I commented that “I had a small one”, in reference to my umbrella.

10p

Then I mentioned a “chocolate finger” when talking about my Kit Kat.

10p

The tin’s been operational for about a month, and contains about £4.80 at the moment. I don’t know what that says about me and my colleagues…

I got Windows 7 last week, mainly because of “rave” reviews of the RC, and because of the reduced price pre-order offer.

I like it - it didn’t really have a problem with Vista, although having used the faster, more efficient and intuitive Windows 7, it’s clear that I should have. It’s not wildly different (which I, perhaps foolishly, expected), but enough changes to make it worth it.

I had minimal casualties from the upgrade, and have yet to have any compatibility problems. Except for Zone Alarm, which doesn’t appear to work at all… So I’m using the Windows’ own firewall at the moment, which I’ve never really experienced.

Tell me people - should I find a new free firewall until Zone Alarm gets its arse in gear, or is the Windows one fine? Any recommendations?